Pity + Bored Weekend

Today is my day with bore and bore where everyone is not here around me, and., still, I am staying in my little fossette... which is my room. I have everything in my room, eg lappy, shelf with books and papers inside, my important haversacks, that save me a lot when I am starving; an antique mirror which bought me for < RM40 which can easily show my figure nicely in everyday and night; my lovely photo rack which put my beloved's picture as well.. and, lots and lots of, memorable things for me.

I miss my stuffs at home, I miss Mami's dishes... I miss soups... and the important is, I miss my bed ==" Happy family is too rough for me as I couldn't sustain it for long time. Quarrel, fight, sad, stubborn, and all kinds of negative feeling came with me when I was there. Nono, it is not my fault. Instead, it is everyone's responsibility to make a family warmth and healthy.

I wish to be acknowledged by everyone, especially my parents and beloved ones. I want them to accept and recognize me as an usefulness and available people when they need me the most. I am emotional and a bit of indocile, because I am not that easy to listen for those advices but, I am obedience to my parents., perhaps. And, I wouldn't disobey their rights when they want me to do with their way. So?

 Is raining now, and it totally shows what my mood is, such a pity, bored, meaningless spirit right now.  

The more you love, the more you suffer

When I post this on facebook, most of my friends said that it is true and you will suffer if your beloved does not love you more then you love him/her. Last time I told my him, I scared of stepping + dropping into a deep hole that can't get up forever. He said: it is not a hole and the man you love is not a devil, he is a man who will love you forever and give you a warmest life in future. And I smile, from my deepest heart.

Few days ago, I quarreled with him as I was lonely all the time and miss him a lot in a sudden. Fight for a care, is that sounds funny? That's me. Nothing to do and purposely find 'something' to do. And he, did not angry at me. Again, I smile, from my deepest heart.

Am I suffering now? The more you love, the more you suffer?

Unreal life

What is life? Sometimes I don't think of a real life of me as I never satisfied of what I have right at this moment. People can have things easily, without striving hard for it; but some people have the opposite fate, no matter how hard they strive for their aim, yet they couldn't get what they hope in life. Should them jealous or envy the one who gain them, or, should I say, I am too realistic? Or materialistic? I wish I can get everything without struggling deadly and instead of enjoying life, I want everything I want.

I live in an unreal life. Unreal a real life that everyone live.